Irish Pub Conversations

One of my favorite places in the entire country is an Irish Pub in Philadelphia called Fado. When we lived in Philly, our place was right above Fado, and often, on a Friday after work, I’d text my wife, and she’d meet me for happy hour. 

We became friendly with so many of the staff, and are now, almost twenty-years later, close friends with a few of them. 

They’d save this special booth in the back of the bar for us, and even though they had a pretty strict no buy-backs policy, they always took great care of us. Meaning, our tab was significantly less than it should have been. Which we always made up for in tips for the bartenders. 

As I’m now back in Philadelphia a few times a month, I sometimes get to stop back in to Fado. My order is always the same: traditional Irish breakfast, eggs over easy, sourdough bread, and a cup of black coffee. 

Yesterday, after I’d placed my order, I overheard three men sitting at a booth close by discussing some business challenges their company was having. I tried not to eavesdrop, but the beer was flowing at their table, so it was pretty hard not to hear them. The entire restaurant could hear them. 

While I couldn’t glean, from their conversation, what kind of business they were in, there was one common theme as it pertained to why their business was struggling. 

Ready for it? Okay, here it is. 

Covid. 

That’s right. Four years, essentially, since the pandemic ended, they were talking non-stop about Covid. 

Look, Covid was a very big deal. I get that for many people, it still is. People lost loved ones, lost jobs, and just lost time with friends and family. Personally, I have no doubt that some of my oldest’s learning struggles are due to the fact that he had almost two years of school online. And, as much as I believe his teachers worked their best to provide solid instruction, I was home for some of it, and it was severely lacking. 

Back in 2002, one year after my mom died, my sister and I were still holding on to much of her clothing. It was just sitting in a closet with no real plan for any of it. We just couldn’t bear to get rid of it. 

Until our cousin gave us some tough coaching. 

“It’s been a year. It’s time to get rid of this stuff.” 

At the time, this comment struck me as being really insensitive. But in hindsight, it was exactly what we needed to hear. 

She wasn't telling us to get over our mom passing away. She wasn’t telling us our pain wasn't real. She wasn’t telling us not to think about our mom or to act like her dying wasn’t a real thing. She was coaching us to move forward and not to be paralyzed by a thing we couldn’t change. 

I always felt like she was telling us it was time to move forward. Even if a part of us would always be partially in that time and place.

If you’re ever sitting in an Irish Pub (or anywhere) and someone on your team brings up Covid as a reason for your struggles, please cut them off immediately. If your challenges are currently, right now, due to Covid, I’ll argue that you haven’t planned effectively enough since then, that you’re blaming instead of taking action, and that the pandemic likely didn’t cause anything as much as it revealed serious gaps in your model. 

I’d argue that you’re living in the past as well. The recent past, yes, but the past nonetheless. You cannot change what happened. You can change what happens. So go change it.