Be the Calm, Not the Storm

As a leader, you should act urgently. You should push your people to be better.

Push them to be great.

However, when things don’t go as planned or when someone is struggling with something, you need to stay calm and problem-solve.

I worked with a leader years ago who, when things went south, was the most visibly upset and flustered of anybody on the team. Instead of action planning, his direct reports had to spend time de-escalating him. It got to the point where they stopped sharing information with their own boss because they dreaded his potential reaction.

This is not only counter-productive, but it’s amateurish and irresponsible. It blurs the lines between manager and employee.

As a leader, your number one job, above all else, is to make your team members’ lives easier, not by making their work easier or by doing it for them. Don’t lower expectations or let them do whatever they want (which doesn’t actually make their lives easier at all). Communicate precisely, provide actionable feedback, be predictable, and ensure the details are clear. And especially, be the modicum of calm when lesser leaders would overreact and tantrum.

You should feel comfortable asking for help when you need it. You should feel okay being vulnerable in front of your team. But when the pressure gets turned up the highest, you need to be the calming presence for everyone around you and not the one making things worse.

Imagine an emergency room doctor shrieking and screaming at the sight of blood or a pilot crying over the intercom when the turbulence hits.

Those things seem insane, right? Well, when we, as leaders, blow up, stomp off, panic, and act like the problem is the worst thing ever, we’re essentially doing that.

If your team can't count on you to be the calm and not the storm, they’ll stop coming to you. Which I know is what some leaders want. Those leaders don’t want to hear anything that makes them uncomfortable or puts them in the position of having to make hard decisions or hold others accountable. Those leaders are abdicating their responsibility.

Those leaders aren’t you.