Make Them Want To

I get fifty emails a day (no exaggeration) from people (and probably robots) trying to sell me things. These are almost certainly all cold emails as they’re often selling things I have no use for. For instance, just recently, a firm was ready to “guarantee” that they’d be the best cleaning service we’ve ever had. Except, we don’t have a physical office space, so we definitely don’t need a cleaning service.

I delete almost all of these on sight. Especially when they’re just wildly impersonal or have no clue what we actually do.

Last week, someone told me they LOVE Rebel Culture and wanted to help me get my ideas out into the world. They wanted to know if I’d ever thought about writing a book as they could support me on it.

I responded to them with a picture of my book. That’s it.

I haven’t heard back.

The other day, I received a poorly written, sloppy email from someone looking to help me integrate AI into my companies. They asked for feedback as they said that for every piece of feedback they receive, they donate two meals to a food bank.

So I responded with the following.

Here's my feedback. 

This email is poorly spaced and sloppily written. I would not do business with a person or a team whose initial outreach looks like this. 

Hope that's helpful. 

Michael 

What followed from this person were a series of emails littered with four-letter words directed at me, them blaming a tech glitch (and so much more), and a suggestion that I “use my brain for once.”

I didn’t respond, except to say the following.

I partner with people who own every last aspect of their businesses. They don't blame tech glitches. They don't get offended. They simply commit to doing better. That’s some free coaching for you. Have a good one. 

Recently, a person I hardly know, sent me a message on LinkedIn. He want to know how to get into consulting and then told me, “Please call me tomorrow to discuss.” He then shared his phone number.

I did not call.

A few months ago, a person looking to start a coaching company asked me for a follow-up call to discuss the work they’d done since our first call. Once we agreed on a time, I asked that they send an invite and call me at that time as I knew I’d be in transit. I then included my phone number.

Despite not receiving the invite, I held the time. But twelve minutes after the call was supposed to start, I received an email from them wondering if we were still connecting and then including their phone number and the phone number of their colleague, so I could, I assume, call them. Despite me offering free coaching to them just because they were a friend of a friend (In fairness, when I shared this feedback with this person, they were equal parts apologetic and mortified for their miss. I feel confident that, in this person’s case, this would never happen again).

Two years ago, I received a message on LinkedIn from a person looking to change careers. They wanted my advice. I knew them from a previous work setting so I agreed. On the day of the call, they cancelled. I sent other options. No response. A month later, apologetically, they asked for the call again. I agreed. They didn’t show. Six months later, they requested the call again. I declined.

I receive emails on LinkedIn every single day from people who are convinced they can add value to my companies. In each of these emails is a request to meet with me with a link to their Calendly. Instead of writing something that sounds like, “I truly believe this product will do wonders for you. If you’re interested, please share a few times next week when you’re free, and I’ll make one of them work. I’ll send an invite with a Zoom link as well” they want me to work around their schedules (side note - of the hundreds of these I’ve received, I actually did book meetings with two folks. One who didn’t show up and never sent an apology email and one who said they were actually busy during the time I booked despite their calendar being open. I didn’t follow-up).

So many of you on this list are entrepreneurs or leaders looking to go to the next level. My wondering is, do you know what that actually takes? Sure, you need to have great ideas. You need to be able to work tirelessly without the promise of any reward.

But you also need to make other people want to.

Want to help you. Want to work with you. Want to be a champion for you.

When I was debating starting Skyrocket Education, I drove six hours to have lunch with an education guru I knew I could learn from. We met for forty-five minutes. I paid for lunch. Then I drove six hours back home.

I’ve coached people for free. I’ve written testimonials for people’s books (which takes a while as you have to actually read the book). I took an hours-long train ride to spend thirty-minutes with someone to get their feedback on an early draft of my framework (that person then wrote the foreword for my first book). I flew across the country, to speak at a conference for free, because it was a great opportunity (that person who asked me to come wrote the foreword for my second book).

I’ve bought lunches and dinners and gone to happy hours when I didn’t freaking feel like. When I was exhausted or when I had so much work to do. I got there first and left last and ensured I talked to every person in the room.

Someone recently asked me to lunch to pick my brain. I gave them an hour of free coaching, and when the bill came, they suggested we split it.

Have you ever heard the Stealers Wheel song, Stuck in the Middle?

The chorus goes like this.

Clowns to the left of me. Jokers to the right. Here I am. Stuck in the middle with you.

This is what some of you are making the people who’d love to help you feel like. Like they're surrounded by clowns and jokers.

People are naturally very giving and generous with their time. Especially when they’ve achieved a modicum of success. Make them want to help you by reading their emails, showing up on time, buying their cup of coffee, following up with a thank you, and asking what you can do for them.

They’ll say, “Nothing” but they’ll appreciate the offer.

I’ve had people ask me, unsolicited through email, for a job, while including in that email, their salary requirements and a request for information about our benefits.

This is like asking your date, five minutes into your first date, what they want for breakfast the next morning.

Slow down, dude.

People will ask me about job opportunities with some line like, “I’m looking for more work/life balance.”

Really? You think the way to make me want to take your call is by telling me your plan is to work less hard at my company? That your current job is burning you out and you need a break?

So, I’m your break?

LOL!

Ask the people on my teams if our work feels like a break.

I’ve had people text me, as they arrived at the restaurant for a meeting they asked for, where to meet me, despite the location being included in the invite.

You should be learning from people. You should be asking people out for coffee. You should be attending events where you can make connections. But you have to be able to do the stuff I’m describing and do it well if you want to go to the next level.

Here’s a good rule of thumb.

If you need something from someone else, do all the legwork. Send the invites, choose the location, send the reminders, then always (always), pay. If someone needs something from you, expect that they’ll do what I just described above.

Otherwise, maybe you should spend your time helping people who actually honor yours.